Science-Fiction Stumpers:

Star Wars

by W. R. Miller

It’s generally agreed that Star Wars is a fun movie, right? So let’s be consistent and make our Star Wars multiple-choice quiz fun, too! If the questions are really too hard for you, look at the end of the quiz. You may find you don’t need “the force” after all!”

1. Artoo-Detoo is

a. a thermo capsulary dehousing assister.

b. a mobile garbage disposal unit.

c. an overweight glob of grease.

d. an obligatory cute robot.

e. a nearsighted scrap pile.

2. Princess Leia, senator from the planet Alderaan, gives Artoo some very important plans. What are they?

a. Blueprints for a giant space fortress.

b. Discount coupons for a battery checkup and oil change.

c. Directions to find the nearest McDonald’s.

d. Instructions to solve Rubik’s Cube.

e. Tickets to see the latest Star Trek movie.

3. Artoo must find a retired Jedi Knight, whose name is

a. Obi-Wan Kenobi.

b. The Wizard of Oz.

c. Don-Juan Kihotay.

d. Augie Ben Doggie.

e. Fred.

4. Princess Leia is captured by the evil

a. Knievel.

b. Doctor Doom.

c. Ming the Merciless.

d. HAL 9000.

e. None of the above.

5. Artoo and See-Threepio are purchased by the uncle of

a. Wormie.

b. Luke Skywalker.

c. Jack Starkiller.

d. Starbuck.

e. Mark Hamillburger.

6. A TIE fighter’s initials stand for

a. b. or c.

b. The Imperial Empire.

c. Twin Ion Engines.

d. This Is Expendable.

e. Truth in Advertising.

7. For protection, Ben Kenobi gives Luke his father’s

a. lightsaber.

b. flashlighter.

c. Buck Rogers helium gun.

d. cosmo-zapper.

e. phaser pistol.

8. The Death Star is a giant battle station with the power to

a. leap over tall buildings in a single bound.

b. destroy an entire planet.

c. give Our Heroes a hard time.

d. impress movie audiences with special effects.

e. give Rodney Dangerfield some respect.

9. Luke & company journey to

a. Anchorhead, Tatooine.

b. Anchorage, Alaska.

c. Anchors Aweigh.

d. Anchovie Pizza.

e. none of the above.

11. To charter a flight to Alderaan, Luke gets some money by selling

a. his pet Ewok. (Awwwww.)

b. his landspeeder.

c. his collection of Batman comic books.

d. his stock in the Star Wars Corporation.

e. C-3PO for scrap metal.

12. Han Solo is a Corellian space pilot who can make the Kessel Run

a. the 100-yard dash.

b. in less than 12 parsecs.

c. faster than a speeding bullet.

d. in two freckles past a hair.

e. in 12 centons with microns to spare.

13. Our Heroes blast off from

a. Cape Canaveral, Florida.

b. Mos Eisley Spaceport.

c. the planet Krypton.

d. the parking lot behind Universal studios.

e. wherever they want. It’s a free universe.

14. Solo escapes approaching Imperial warships by accelerating

a. beyond the speed limit.

b. into hyperspace.

c. into sub-space.

d. through streak photography.

e. faster than Speedy Gonzales.

15. What happens to Princess Leia’s home planet, Alderaan?

a. I don’t know; I didn’t see the movie.

b. I know, but I won’t tell you.

c. I don’t care; I’m a grouch.

d. I don’t remember; I was getting popcorn.

e. I don’t know; I was preoccupied in the balcony.

16. According to Ben Kenobi, the Force partially controls actions, but it also

a. speaks to you.

b. obeys your commands.

c. saves electricity.

d. controls your mind.

e. confuses Han Solo.

17. What happens to Ben Kenobi?

a. He walks off the set and collects his paycheck.

b. He disappears.

c. He turns into an optical effect.

d. He is beamed aboard the Enterprise and taken to a mental institution.

e. He marries Princess Leia and lives happily ever after.

18. What is Luke Skywalker’s and Han Solo’s reward?

a. A date with Miss Piggy.

b. A shiny medal for each.

c. Tickets for four at a Squat-n-gobble.

d. A contract for Star Wars sequels.

e. A re-appearance on The Star Wars Holiday Special.


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