by W. R. Miller
What have you learned from Battlestar Galactica, the 1978 series starring Lorne
Greene? Choose the best answer to each of the following questions. Don’t worry;
the answers will be provided after the test. Note: Cheaters will be fired down
the launch tubes … without a Viper!
1. What is the objective of Battlestar Galactica?
a. To promote “Shoot first, ask questions later” theology.
b. To lead the Human Race (and the Cylons) to Earth.
c. An opportunity for Lorne Greene to sell Alpo to Boxey and Muffit.
d. All of the above.
e. To explore strange new worlds.
f. To seek out new life and new civilizations.
g. To boldly go where no man has gone before.
2. What is the setting for Battlestar Galactica?
a. Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
b. The Seventh Millennium of Time.
c. Universal Studios.
d. Outer Space without a vacuum.
3. Where is Earth?
a. That’s a good question.
b. the Cygnus spur of the Orion arm.
c. In space.
d. Far, far away, amongst the stars, somewhere beyond the heavens.
e. You tell Lorne Greene and then you’ll both know.
4. Define “Kobol.”
a. A computer language system.
b. the mother planet of thirteen colonies.
c. the source of Eric von Daniken’s Chariots of the gods.
d. A new oil corporation.
5. The Rising Star is a
a. rising star.
b. luxury liner.
c. sun rise.
d. super nova.
e. cleverly crafted, finely detailed model ship powered by special effects.
6. A “viper” is
a. a strange snake.
b. the most advanced flying machine known to Galacticans.
c. easily expendable.
d. a Communist plot.
e. a stripped-down version of a Star Wars X-Wing fighter.
7. The prison barge is a
a. prison barge.
b. prison barge.
c. the same as a. and b.
d. all of the above and below.
e. big choice, isn’t it?
8. A Cylon is
a. a poor excuse of a machine.
b. a computerized race of androids who happen to dislike humans.
c. a bunch of inefficient metallic jerks who can’t shoot straight.
d. not a Good Guy.
e. an Imperial Stormtrooper in disguise.
9. Lucifer is
a. a turkey.
b. a puppet operated by Bobby Porter with Jonathan Harris’ voice.
c. a showcase for disco lights and fiber optics.
d. a fancy Conehead.
e. an XL series Cylon, whatever that is.
f. a very distant relative of Darth Vader.
g. and a partridge in a pear tree.
10. What is “Muffit II”?
a. A bionic daggit.
b. A chimpanzee.
c. the sequel to “Muffit I.”
d. R2-D2 in mongrel’s clothing.
11. What is “felgercarb“?
a. “bracreglef” spelled backwards.
b. An explicit statement.
c. Red tape with a dash of blue.
d. Starbuck’s favorite word.
e. Code name for the CIA’s latest secret weapon.
12. How much is a centon?
a. Several light days give or take a few stardates.
b. An unspecified measure of time.
c. One fifth of a nickel.
d. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
e. Your guess is as good as mine.
f. Who cares?
13. Galactica is powered by
a. Dilithium crystals.
b. Tylium fuel.
c. Micron power.
e. Pyramid energy.
f. Horse power.
g. Coca-Cola. (Things go better with Coke!)
Lost? Finding the answers is easier than finding the way to Earth. See here.